Geek Week in Review

Big Brother can you spare a dime? According to The Times of London, an American company has applied for a patent on technology that will measure employees' "productivity, physical well being, and competence" -- essentially attaching a lie detector, a camera, and a heart monitor to cubicle rats and measuring how well they navigate the maze. And what is the name of this company, you might ask? Why, Microsoft, of c

Big Brother can you spare a dime? According to The Times of London, an American company has applied for a patent on technology that will measure employees' "productivity, physical well being, and competence" -- essentially attaching a lie detector, a camera, and a heart monitor to cubicle rats and measuring how well they navigate the maze. And what is the name of this company, you might ask? Why, Microsoft, of course. Of organizations that really need to measure their employees' competence, the Redmond reprobates would surely land in the top 10. But just imagine the kind of dialog boxes you'll see: "Microsoft CubeSpy will restart your heart in 10 seconds. Accept or Cancel?"

All my excess live in Texas. It seems Time Warner is mulling a plan to soak subscribers who suck too hard on their precious pipes. The cable giant is testing a plan in Beaumont, Texas (why do bad things always seem to happen in Texas?), that would meter bandwidth usage and levy surcharges on those who exceed their monthly cap. Strangely, there's no mention of refunding fees to subscribers who use only a fraction of the bandwidth they're paying for.

Cruise control. It seems Tom Cruise has a new movie out, but not one he or the Church of Scientology wants anyone to see. Some devious soul posted a 9-minute clip of Cruise waxing ecstatic about the wonders of his chosen religion (the short version: Scientology fixes everything.) The clip appeared on Google Video, YouTube, Defamer, Radar, and Gawker, and each time the CoS sent a nastygram ordering the clip to be taken down. (So far, Gawker has refused.) But every time one clip comes down, it seems ten more get posted. Apparently even the great L. Ron in the sky can't stop it. Mostly the clip shows Tom to be the dimwit/loon we already know he is, thanks to his appearances on Oprah and the Today show. Couldn't he just have a sex tape like everybody else in Hollywood?

Got more tech news or scary Tom Cruise videos? Post them below or email me here. Top tipsters qualify for cool swag and a free cease and desist letter from the CoS.

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