It's all WikiLeaks all the time here in Cringeville this morning. And for sheer entertainment value, the wiki saga lands somewhere between the clown circus over at AOL/TechCrunch and today's Netflix/Qwikster mishegas.
First: It seems the cash-strapped whistleblowing site is so desperate for funds that it has begun auctioning off Julian Assange memorabilia on eBay.
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Want a rare signed photo portrait of the Albino Aussie taken on his 40th birthday? That'll be $900 please.
How about an unopened package of prison coffee, one of three taken from Assange's brief sojourn in London's Wandsworth Prison? The bidding starts at $315. (How did he smuggle them out? You don't want to know.)
A diplomatic cable from Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to the U.N., signed and fingerprinted by Assange? Be prepared to fork over $33,000.
The prize of the lot: The "CableGate computer," a laptop containing all 250,000 unredacted cables, which sports a "buy it now" price of a cool half million. Yes, that's right, you could have a $1,000 laptop with information available entirely for free for just a 50,000 percent markup.
Because even if you don't think that people who blindly support WikiLeaks and Assange are that stupid, it's pretty clear Assange and friends really do think they're that stupid.
Meanwhile, the WikiLeaks Top Secret Mobile Information Collection Unit has been spotted on the streets of Manhattan this week. Of course, WikiLeaks doesn't actually have a Top Secret Mobile Information Collection Unit (that would be Google). The van is the work of "artivist" Clark Stoeckley, who likes to park the vehicle around town to scare the beejesus out of gullible city dwellers while also showing his support for the "Free Bradley Manning" movement. He's shilling for gas and meter money on PayPal, as well; so far he's raised a whopping $610, enough for about two hours' worth of parking on the Lower East Side.
Finally, WikiLeaks has uncovered a new and potentially powerful source of support: witches.
A YouTube music video making the rounds features a cloying little ditty sung by a woman wearing the usual peaked black hat, prancing about in the woods along with a half dozen other Guy Fawkes mask-wearing, iMac Air toting witches, and ends with a message urging us all to support WikiLeaks. Yes, really.
The chorus of said song: "There's a little witch in every woman today."
If you think I'm going anywhere near that line, you don't know me very well. I'm not as crazy as I look.
No word yet whether Julian is planning to rename his site WiccaLeaks. But I would highly recommend it. He needs all the black magic he can muster.
What will Assange or WikiLeaks come up with next? Suggest more surefire moneymaking schemes below or email me: cringe@infoworld.com.
This article, "WikiLeaks meets WiccaLeaks: Which is witch?," was originally published at InfoWorld.com. Follow the crazy twists and turns of the tech industry with Robert X. Cringely's Notes from the Field blog, and subscribe to Cringely's Notes from the Underground newsletter.