How do you solve a problem like Windows 8?

Fortunately for Microsoft, Cringely's readers come through with tons of titles for the interface formerly known as Metro

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Robert F., a self-described techno-geezer who says he likes Windows 7 but has no use for tablets of any stripe, proffers "Windows Craptastic." Sorry Bob, I think that's already been used to describe every other Microsoft operating system.

L. Dean offers up Microsoft Mahjong, a tribute to both Win8's tiled interface and the gamble Microsoft is taking on trying to make the same interface work for both fingers and keyboard. Or maybe he means you'll need the help of three Chinese support techs to get Win8 up and running.

Lamar P. keeps it simple: "Windows Touch," which is actually pretty good. Maybe he should be working for Microsoft.

Microsoft as muse

Finally, my call for rebranding even inspired reader "Brainout1" to pen a poem, which is too long to include in its entirety but starts thusly:

I've seen the brand-new Windows Tiles --

we go from bad to worse!

What Windows did to make more smiles --

Now makes the users curse.

Apparently renaming Microsoft products is a popular Internet pastime; the WP Central blog inspired hundreds of its readers to suggest new monikers for Metro. Maybe Microsoft should take the hint for Windows 9, if and when that OS comes. Next time, leave it to the InterWebs to name your stuff. We certainly couldn't do much worse.

Got more bright ideas for Microsoft's suggestion box? Stuff them in below or email me:

This article, "How do you solve a problem like Windows 8?," was originally published at Follow the crazy twists and turns of the tech industry with Robert X. Cringely's Notes from the Field blog, and subscribe to Cringely's Notes from the Underground newsletter.


Copyright © 2012 IDG Communications, Inc.

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