So you've had your tech trivia chops clocked by the InfoWorld Geek IQ Test and want to know where you went wrong. Or you're looking to score some easy stuffed-penguin love by cheating your way into the 80th percentile. Either way, the answers are illuminated below.

[ Take the InfoWorld Geek IQ Test to reveal your geekiness quotient. ]

Fully correct answers are worth 5 points; however, there are some responses that -- although not quite correct -- still garner partial points.

And for those stinging from the pasting they've received at the hands of this test, there are always the exploits of stupid users and stupid hackers to help boost your ego.

Oh, and if you've got a beef or want to brag? Save it for the comments section below.

Question 1. What's the first universal question of telephone help desk support?

5 points
b. Have you tried turning it on and off again?
Hey, it's a universal truth. Just watch "The IT Crowd."

2 points
d. All of the above
You know they've all happened; treat yourself to partial points.

Question 2. What's the quickest way to derail a small IT project?

2 points
b. Involve a certified project manager
"Certified" always means a rewrite of the project plan.

2 points
c. Allow frequent progress meetings with creative senior management types
Senior management usually has "interesting" new ideas to tack on shortly before deadline time.

5 points
d. b and c
But only the combined duo means certain death.

Question 3. What celebrity on this list co-founded a still-functioning Internet business?

5 points
c. Alyssa Milano
Check out www.safesearching.com, though her MLB blog *touch* 'em all is more entertaining. And that secret place in my basement with dozens of her pictures tacked to the wall, burning candles and incense and my severed finger on wax paper is not a shrine. It's just my special place. [Special indeed. --Ed.]

Question 4. How many sockets/ports does the TCP/IP protocol support in total?

5 points
d. 65,536
If it's wrong, talk to Paul Venezia.

Question 5. What's the first thing a SOX auditor will ask for?

5 points
b. Audit logs and policy documentation
This is why your IT staff needs to become paperwork pack rats.

2 points
d. All of the above
But if you happen to offer all three, you're probably fine depending on where you leave the envelope full of greenbacks.

Question 6. Under Linux, which command will kill all processes whose process name contains the string "killme"?

5 points
a. ps auxww | grep killme | awk '{print$2}' | xargs kill
Weren't killer xargs the villains in some sci-fi movie? Meanwhile, if you want to double-check this syntax, check out O'Reilly's "Linux Pocket Guide."

Question 7. Why do so many Linux geeks prefer to operate the system in console mode?

5 points
b. It's faster -- it's where we learned, so we know how to get everything done
True not only for Linux geeks, but for switch and router consoles, too.

-2 points
c. It's more impressive to the opposite sex
If you believe this, you're doing laundry on Saturday nights.

2 points
d. It's more impressive to managers, thus providing job security
If your boss is a partial techie, flashing loads of cryptic contractions that result in something tangible can make you look brilliant.

Question 8. Why is Cisco no longer the undisputed leader in the switch and network infrastructure categories?

2 points
a. It blew off getting its 10-gig switches tested by InfoWorld, so how bright can the company be?
Passing up such an amazing PR opportunity can only mean a slippage of management acumen.

5 points
b. IOS will never be as cool as embedded Linux switch OSes
If you see what Extreme's been doing with embedded Linux, you don't want to go back to IOS. Ever.

2 points
c. They cost too much
An old Cisco saw, but still sharp.

Question 9. Why has Linux still not become a dominant factor on the business desktop?

5 points
a. Because the real power on the corporate desktop is Microsoft Office
The average office worker doesn't care about the OS. It's the productivity suite in which they live and work that's important, and that's where Microsoft still rules the world.

Question 10. The Programmer's Math Question: Given two water faucets, one hot and one cold, and one bucket. The hot water fills the empty bucket in eight minutes. The cold water fills the bucket in seven minutes. Then I make a hole in the bucket such that the full bucket drains in four minutes. Now take the empty bucket, with the hole, and place under both faucets together. Turn on the hot and cold water at the same time. How long does it take to fill the bucket halfway?

5 points
c. 28 minutes
Submitted by infrequent InfoWorld contributor, Dave Aubrey; six steps required:
1. 1/7 x 8/8 = 8/56 The fill rate for cold;
2. 1/8 x 7/7 = 7/56 The fill rate for hot;
3. 7/56 + 8/56 = 15/56 The combined fill rate for hot & cold;
4. 1/4 x 14/14 = 14/56 The drain rate;
5. 15/56 – 14/56 = 1/56 per minute net fill rate;
6. So to fill halfway, it would take 28 minutes (half of 56).

Question 11. The Network Administrator's Math Question: What is the sum of the number of bits in the netmask of half a Class B network plus the length in bits of a TCP header, divided by the speed in megabits per second of the first Token Ring networks?

5 points
a. 9.75
Another Paul Venezia submission.
(17 + 32 / 4) = 9.75

Question 12. The Suit-Clad Supervisor's Math Question: If you have 10 IT staffers doing an adequate job and you subtract eight IT staffers you have:

2 points
a. Two IT staffers suffering, but who cares about that?
The Gordon Gekko answer.

5 points
d. Salary bonus due to cost-saving genius
The far more common Nigel Wick answer.

Question 13. Define SLI, and name the company that invented it and the year it was introduced.

5 points
a. Scan-Line Interconnect, 3dfx, 1998
Yeah, at first I thought it was Nvidia, too.

Question 14. What's the best description of the difference between a Layer 3 switch and a router?

1 point
a. Nothing
The glib and grossly oversimplified answer.

5 points
c. Layer 3 switches are bridges with multiple ports that route packets based on routing table destinations stored in fast memory caches that also contain source-destination and next-hop entries. This makes Layer 3 switches much faster than routers at routing. However, routers have more advanced routing abilities, making them more appropriate for external routing chores.
There isn't any single answer because the feature sets of both categories tend to vary, but of the four listed here, this definition comes the closest.

Question 15. How do you combat process starvation?

2 points
a. Hot dogs and beer; you can combat anything with hot dogs and beer
It's true. Hot dogs and beer can always make a difference.

-5 points
b. Define a process request delimiter within the subprocess \\root/bin/BS
This is a random collection of words. Slap yourself if you checked this.

5 points
c. Add an aging factor to the priority of each process request in the scheduling system
Sure sounds easy when you know the answer, right?

Question 16. Is EvDO based on CDMA or GSM; what's the acronym stand for (best definition); and what's its maximum possible speed?

5 points
c. CDMA; EVolution Data-Only; 2.4Mbps
Actually, the acronym has two definitions: "Data-Only" and "Data-Optimized." Both are used even by the official EvDO Web site. So we chose the one that looked the least technical just to trip you up. Yeah, we're evil.

-2 points
d. GSM; Extra Virgin Ducati Owner; 145mph
No one should have fallen for this -- though Ducati does rule.

Question 17. How many standard RAID levels are there?

5 points
d. Only digital sherpas really know
Actually, this is something only wizened old storage hermits might know. There are anywhere between 6 and 10 "standard" RAID levels depending on how you define "standard." After that, there are numerous nonstandard and nested levels, too.

Question 18. Server-side Java servlets have done a lot for Web server and application server functionality. However, which of the following processing methods are they not designed to replace?

5 points
d. Cookies
Not the chocolate chip kind, the client-side security nightmare kind.

Question 19. What's a "beamer"?

5 points
c. A window in StarOffice that showed the contents of elements selected in Explorer
Really, where else are we going to use deep StarOffice trivia, except on a test like this?

2 points
d. What the crew called it when Scotty got lucky in the transporter room
I'm proud of this one. Though it does bring a difficult picture to mind when you remember that he had an affair with Uhura after both of them passed mandatory retirement.

Question 20. What exactly is a deflector shield?

1 point
a. An energy shield that surrounds space-going vessels to protect them from physical damage
Scotty used to have to fix them, so it's worth a point.

5 points
d. A charged plasma field under development that will protect space travelers from space-going health risks
The true test of your Google researching capabilities.