In a blog post late last month ("Can Microsoft imitate Apple one more time?"), I asked Cringesters what they would suggest for a new Microsoft slogan.
Commenter "engpjp" suggests Microsoft take a page from the pre-second-coming of Steve Jobs era: "Microsoft: Be What's NeXT." I think they'd probably get sued for that one.
But the residents of Cringeville came up with some pretty good ones, too. Here are the best, followed by the author's initials.
- "If you've got the solutions, we've got the problems" (D. W.).
- "The 500 pound gorilla doesn't play with toys. Microsoft: We get the Jobs done." (S. E.)
- Here's one from the Caesarean section: "We came, we saw, we copied" (C. D.).
- The practical: "Reboot your life (and while you're at it, your PC)" (R. L.).
- The acquisitive: "If you can't beat em, buy em" (J. P.).
- The scatological: "Microsoft: We love downloading lots of s**** to your PC" (M. S.).
Here's one proclaiming hey, at least our CEO didn't have to resign because of a sex scandal: "We're not HP" (B. C.).
And this one would sound right at home on that new Windows-vs.-Mac site Microsoft just created: "Lots of people use our software because they have to" (M. B.).
Personally, I like eSarcasm's somewhat NSFW take on the new Microsoft slogan, especially this one: "Microsoft: Re-imagining the future by clinging blindly to the past."
Maybe Microsoft should fire all of its marketers and hire the residents of Cringeville instead. We certainly couldn't do much worse.
Got more sage marketing advice for Microsoft? Post it below or email me: firstname.lastname@example.org.
This article, "Microsoft needs more than a new slogan," was originally published at InfoWorld.com. Follow the crazy twists and turns of the tech industry with Robert X. Cringeley's Notes from the Field blog, and subscribe to Cringely's Notes from the Underground newsletter.