If the suit fits, wear it

Several readers want to know where they can sign up for Match.com’s “date an employee” service. But Cringester Barry W. asks, Shouldn’t employees be the ones suing? Imagine being forced to date desperate, lonely, middle-aged men … not unlike yours truly. In the meantime, Match.com has produced a sworn affidavit from the alleged employee saying she never worked there. I can see the scene clearly. Her: “They’d have to pay me to go out with you again.” Him: “How much?”

To Sell a Dell: Deciding that retail stores no longer have cooties, Dell has begun dumping inventory -- err, older machines -- in Costco stores this season. Although the system specs are a bit low end, I hear Dell plans to sweeten the deal by tossing in a 50-gallon drum of peanut oil and a year’s supply of toilet paper.

Never Say Diebold: After electronic voting booths in North Carolina misplaced 4,500 votes in last year’s elections, the state passed rules requiring voting machine software to be independently tested before approving it for sale. Although Diebold refused to turn over the source code for its Windows-based product, NC’s state elections board -- which employs a consultant who happens to be a former Diebold employee -- approved the software anyway. I’m not sure what’s scarier: that election boards can be so easily co-opted, or that we elect people by using machines running Windows CE.

Xtreme Chutzpah: VisionTek markets the XTASY graphic card, but Cringeman Charlie D. was in agony after his new VisionTek card died two weeks after installing it. The company demanded $10 to replace the defective part. Heck, he’s lucky it didn’t hose his system -- the company might have charged him $100.

ICANN, But I Won’t: Highlighting a dispute between groups that want to cordon off adult sites and those content to let the entire Net be a red-light district, the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) abruptly canceled a discussion of the proposed .xxx domain last week. All was not lost, though. After the avoidus interruptus, ICANN board members exchanged phone numbers and promised to call each other.

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