6. Top Microsoft executives are terrified Steve Ballmer will finally go completely postal and show up to meetings with a vest full of C4 strapped to his chest. Gates is the only person who's ever been able to talk Ballmer down.
5. He can get Jerry Seinfeld to entertain at the annual employee appreciation party. Also: Free churros for everyone.
4. Gates is like Chinese kryptonite to antitrust investigations. He can vow to use his desktop monopoly to crush a competitor, then forget he ever said it 30 minutes later.
3. Because how many times can you play bridge with Warren Buffet before wanting to kick him under the table? Let's face it -- the man cheats.
2. Only Gates has what it takes to finally close that Yahoo acquisition. At this point, Yahoo might actually pay Microsoft to put it out of its misery. That's what we call a win-win situation.
And the No. 1 reason Bill Gates should return to Microsoft:
1. Windows Home Appliance 2012: Toaster Edition. Think about it.
A Gates return is probably about as likely as Herman Cain unsuspending his race for the GOP nomination. Still, it's fun to think about. I certainly miss having Bill Gates to kick around. How about you?
Post your thoughts about the once and future (?) Microsoft CEO below or email me: firstname.lastname@example.org.
This article, "Top 10 reasons why Bill Gates should return to Microsoft," was originally published at InfoWorld.com. Follow the crazy twists and turns of the tech industry with Robert X. Cringely's Notes from the Field blog, and subscribe to Cringely's Notes from the Underground newsletter.