Along with the new iPhone, Timberlake showed off Apple's latest operating system. Apple's iOS 17 is designed to plug directly into the human central nervous system via a custom bio-API and offer billions of downloadable apps, including new software for controlling appetite, increasing sexual desire, and curing contagious yawning.
But the event was not without controversy. As it had for the past six iPhone unveilings, the OMT ("One More Thing") cult staged a silent vigil via hologram. Clad in their characteristic mock black turtlenecks, blue jeans, and New Balance sneakers, the group continued to protest the appointment of Trillionaire Timberlake as head of Apple and to await the return of the One True CEO.
Me, I can't wait for the iPhone 18. I hear it will totally blow the iPhone 17 away.
InfoWorld would like to apologize for today's Notes From the Field blog post. We suspect Cringe is suffering from a severe case of Apple hype overdose. How about you? Post your symptoms below or email email@example.com.
This article, "Apple's iPhone 17: Best. Phone. Ever.," was originally published at InfoWorld.com. Follow the crazy twists and turns of the tech industry with Robert X. Cringely's Notes from the Field blog, and subscribe to Cringely's Notes from the Underground newsletter.