Twitter: "We were totally high when we came up with this idea. Now you expect us to come up with a way to make money off 140-character brain farts? You must be high."
AOL: "Our best customers are senior citizens who are still paying $17.50 a month for dialup Internet. Shhh, don't wake them, they're napping. Or possibly comatose."
Sony: "We haven't had an original idea since 2005 -- and that one was stolen by Apple."
Samsung: "We give you cutting-edge electronics at bargain prices, and you gave us a McDonalds, Starbucks, or Dunkin Donuts on every corner. We want our stuff back."
That is the world I'd like to live in. It would certainly be preferable to the one we have now, where everyone sues the hell out of each other over design patents when they should be spending their time and money making better products. But maybe that's just me.
What truthful statements would you like tech companies to make? Post yours below or email me: firstname.lastname@example.org. I'll name my favorite one in a future post.
This article, "Apple vs. Samsung: The truth shall set us free," was originally published at InfoWorld.com. Follow the crazy twists and turns of the tech industry with Robert X. Cringely's Notes from the Field blog, and subscribe to Cringely's Notes from the Underground newsletter.