15 things you need to know about the Steve Jobs bio

The authorized biography of Steven P. Jobs has leaked across the Net. Cringely will now save you the trouble of actually reading it

Stop me if you've heard this one: Walter Isaacson's biography of Steve Jobs (cleverly titled "Steve Jobs") has leaked across the blogosphere. It sounds like a fascinating read. But who has time to read these days or, for that matter, think?

For the benefit of all those out there in Cringeville, I've skimmed all the reviews from bloggers who've skimmed the book, then condensed it into the following factoids that are perfect for making semi-informed cocktail party conversation. Here they are:

[ Want to cash in on your IT experiences? InfoWorld is looking for stories of an amazing or amusing IT adventure, lesson learned, or tales from the trenches. Send your story to offtherecord@infoworld.com. If we publish it, we'll keep you anonymous and send you a $50 American Express gift cheque. ]

1. As a teenager Jobs mastered the art of staring at people without blinking. Thus explaining that steely gaze in his publicity photo that adorns the cover of the book.

2. When Apple first began, the company hired a "president" whose main job was to look after Steve and make sure he bathed regularly. (No, I did not make that up -- blame AP.)

3. Steve Jobs thought Bill Gates was a dullard.

4. Bill Gates thought Steve Jobs was weird.

5. They were both right.

6. Steve Jobs was adopted (you knew that already, right?). He met his biological father a few times as an adult but remained estranged from him, fearing that bio dad would come after him for his money.

7. Jobs's biological sister is Mona Simpson, the novelist. (Give yourself two bonus fanboy points for already knowing that.) Pretty nice work for a couple that Jobs called his "sperm and egg bank."

8. Jobs once told Eric Schmidt he would "go thermonuclear" on Google -- spend all of Apple's $40 billion in cash, if necessary, to sue them over the "grand theft" of iPhone technology for use in Android.

9. Still, when Larry Page came to Jobs for counsel after being made Google CEO, Jobs generously offered it -- remembering the advice Bill Hewlett had once given him.