Handling a backstabbing boss
Dear Bob ...I need advice on how to deal with backstabbers at work. Here goes (this is really long, sorry).At one time in the very recent past, my boss relied on my opinions related to work because of my experience.She told me many negative things about certain people in our staff (I assumed in confidence, of course). She said some staff were being underhanded toward her (a backstabbing story of its own) -- theFollow @ITCatalysts
Dear Bob ...
I need advice on how to deal with backstabbers at work. Here goes (this is really long, sorry).
At one time in the very recent past, my boss relied on my opinions related to work because of my experience.
She told me many negative things about certain people in our staff (I assumed in confidence, of course). She said some staff were being underhanded toward her (a backstabbing story of its own) -- the outcome of which would have caused serious questions about her credibility, resulting in major ramifications for her. At the time, I was most curious why she was not discussing this matter with someone at her level, given its seriousness. I have never broken that confidence and will not.
Presently, I'm out, and she has developed confidences with those same individuals (backstabbers-by her definition), assigning them choice and confidential projects. I found this out -- inadvertently, not directly -- from an employee who has recently transferred out of our unit.
I sent the boss a brief and non-threatening e-mail inquiring about one of the assignments. Her answer was indirect and reassuring -- and later I found out it was an untruth. Now I am questioning everything. I must surely be in the Twilight Zone.
I'm also feeling passed over and left out, the rug pulled out from under me. Are there now three backstabbers?
My plans for handling this sitution: Lay low, try to smile, don't show emotion or hurt feelings, and don't be surprised by anything. Maybe my boss lacks confidence in her abilities, maybe subconsciously her decisions, maybe does not want to take responsibility and somehow has connected with something the trouble-making individuals have offered.
I also feel when she confided in me, she should not have and that she should not be making unit decisions with those particular staff members. I don't and won't get involved in gossip or office politics and don't promote religion at work (the three of them discuss religion frequently, e-mailing the entire staff verses and quotes).
I truly feel you cannot outsmart a backstabber. This is how they have maneuvered in their world from the first time they discovered they could get what they wanted. Their behavior is very destructive, not only to them, but to everyone they are in contact with. Personally, I feel it cannot possibly work for them each time they use it, but they have been rewarded enough to have developed a lifestyle of it and are very seasoned, and a novice cannot beat them at it.
I feel greatly disappointed in my boss. I really liked her, or I guess I liked the person I thought she was. Disappointment stinks.
Dear Stilettoed ...
Your first clue should have been that your boss was confiding in you. Nothing has changed except who is in the confidant's seat.