Programming personality type No. 5: The Dynamic Typist
If really pushed, lovers of dynamically typed languages will admit that, yes, the troubles of the Middle East and the potential dangers of climate change are worse than having to specify the type of data that will be stored in a variable. But they really would like to avoid being pinned down or constrained. Choosing a type closes doors, and closing doors brings them that much closer to death.
The Dynamic Typist don't see a variable that's now half full because everyone knows it requires a float and an int; they see it as half empty because maybe, just maybe, you'll want to stick a string or a self-balancing B-tree with invertible index. You never know when that might come in handy, they'll point out.
Car: Anything from Zipcar
Relationship status: Open for anything
Household chore: Adding X-10
Role model: Inventor of Swiss Army Knife
Pet: "Whatever finds its way into this terrarium, we'll call it Foo."
Favorite programming construct: Creating variables on the fly
Drink: An empty cup to fill themselves at the fast-food restaurant
Programming personality type No. 6: The Faker
They got through college snarfing open source code and flirting with the competent TAs. When it was time for group projects, they showed up with cookies or beer, just to make sure no one noticed how many bugs were in their code. Now they've turned that degree into a real job with responsibilities, but they're smart enough to recognize that a bit of smiling and political savvy can keep the winning streak running.
Maybe they volunteer to take over the thankless jobs, like keeping the build tool running. Then they can scold the other programmers and maybe get them to take over their own tasks. Or maybe they just talk about configuration and the right names for the methods -- anything to avoid actually writing the instructions inside the methods.
Car: One of those Hyundais that looks like a Jaguar
Relationship status: Living with long-term secret significant other
Household chore: Cleaning by dumping everything into a heap in the closet
Role model: Guy from "Catch Me If You Can"
Pet: "Stuffed animals don't shed."
Favorite programming construct: DLL
Drink: Iced tea in a scotch glass
Programming personality type No. 7: The Multitasker
They won't look you in the eye during the meeting because they're busy answering an email, chuckling about a tweet, and ordering something from Amazon. But through it all, they claim they're able to listen to what you're saying. They would never pull this stunt with the boss, but you're not the boss, are you? So they play time-sharing system with you.
The Multitasker usually does a passable job with the simple requests. If asked about joining the gang for lunch on Friday, the Multitasker can answer yes or no with enough accuracy. More complicated requests, however, will receive the same cursory response, which may or may not be remotely correct.
As you would expect, the Multitasker is more than happy to work on several projects at the same time. Indeed, the biggest problem is keeping the Multitasker from volunteering for more projects before completing their backlog. The Multitasker is confident they can repurpose some code they have somewhere on their machine and perhaps even write the same code for multiple projects simultaneously. Nothing to it, they say.
Car: Anything with heads-up display, hands-free cellphone, and OnStar running at once
Relationship status: Group-texting a booty call
Household chore: Folding laundry with a spatula while flipping pancakes with a smartphone between texts
Role model: Squad of ninjas
Pet: "Which of you cats ate another gerbil?"
Favorite programming construct: interrupt