April 01, 2008

All charged up over Comcast's quadruple play

Today's announcement of CHARGES, Comcast's new home energy management system that will be combined with its TV, phone, and Internet services in a new "Quadruple Play" offering, has generated a lot of excitement. To help customers get charged up about this new service, following is a transcript from a Q&A session at Comcast's press conference.

Q: What is the CHARGES program all about?

Comca

Comcast: Certainly not. Comcast is not in the business of policing what our customers do in their own homes. Whatever it is, we'll sell it to you -- all you gotta do is pay.

Q: One thing that's not entirely clear is how CHARGES will relate to the customer's power company.

Comcast: All we can say about that right now is that the power grid is the one area where Comcast very much believes in net neutrality. We'll work with any power provider, as long as they're willing to give us a cut.

Q: Is there any concern that Comcast's use of its cable franchise monopolies in this way could have anti-trust implications?

Comcast: Hey, what's with the tough questions? That's it -- we paid you stooges good money to follow the script, so we're done here.

Note: This article contains forward-looking statements and even total fiction, as it is an April Fool's joke for Ed Foster's GripeLog. Any resemblance between the above descriptions and past, current, or future Comcast Quadruple Play offerings is probably to be expected.

Post your comments about this column below or write me at Foster@gripe2ed.com.

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