Wanted: Brilliant technology slave

Do you have what it takes to do everything at once without missing a beat? Then Fergenschmeir Systems wants you

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Requirements:

  • Cisco CCIE certification (multiple CCIE certifications preferred)
  • Current RHCE, MCSE, VCP, and VCDX certifications
  • Complete knowledge and understanding of SNA, IPX, and token-ring networking
  • Full working knowledge of Trumpet Winsock
  • Minimum of three published books on network architecture, server architecture, or data center design
  • Ability to work in a startup mind-set
  • Significant travel (80 to 90 percent)
  • Minimum of 20 years' experience in the technology field
  • Minimum of 15 years' experience in server and network architecture
  • Strong listening and communication skills
  • Knowledge of PCB fabrication and electrical engineering necessary to construct server hardware from scratch in the event of a supply chain disruption
  • Ability to work remotely, wherever, whenever, 24/7/365
  • Must be enthusiastic, charismatic, and stunningly good-looking
  • Ability to multitask on a continuous basis
  • Must provide own laptop and cell phone
  • Must be able to sleep in sporadic 20-minute increments across many days when necessary
  • Must provide own soldering iron
  • Must have thorough knowledge of common knots used in rescue situations
  • Must be able to rebuild the carburetor of a 1972 Buick Electra blindfolded
  • Must be able to draw a perfect circle on a standard-sized Post-it Note by hand

Education:

  • Master's degree in business, secondary master's in computer science. Doctorate and Nobel Prize in science preferred.

Compensation:

  • Biweekly bags of peanuts, Cracker Jack, and stock options.

Are you up for the task? Send in your resumes immediately. Fergenschmeir is waiting to hear from you.

This story, "Wanted: Brilliant technology slave," was originally published at InfoWorld.com. Read more of Paul Venezia's The Deep End blog at InfoWorld.com. For the latest business technology news, follow InfoWorld.com on Twitter.

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