- Cisco CCIE certification (multiple CCIE certifications preferred)
- Current RHCE, MCSE, VCP, and VCDX certifications
- Complete knowledge and understanding of SNA, IPX, and token-ring networking
- Full working knowledge of Trumpet Winsock
- Minimum of three published books on network architecture, server architecture, or data center design
- Ability to work in a startup mind-set
- Significant travel (80 to 90 percent)
- Minimum of 20 years' experience in the technology field
- Minimum of 15 years' experience in server and network architecture
- Strong listening and communication skills
- Knowledge of PCB fabrication and electrical engineering necessary to construct server hardware from scratch in the event of a supply chain disruption
- Ability to work remotely, wherever, whenever, 24/7/365
- Must be enthusiastic, charismatic, and stunningly good-looking
- Ability to multitask on a continuous basis
- Must provide own laptop and cell phone
- Must be able to sleep in sporadic 20-minute increments across many days when necessary
- Must provide own soldering iron
- Must have thorough knowledge of common knots used in rescue situations
- Must be able to rebuild the carburetor of a 1972 Buick Electra blindfolded
- Must be able to draw a perfect circle on a standard-sized Post-it Note by hand
- Master's degree in business, secondary master's in computer science. Doctorate and Nobel Prize in science preferred.
- Biweekly bags of peanuts, Cracker Jack, and stock options.
Are you up for the task? Send in your resumes immediately. Fergenschmeir is waiting to hear from you.
This story, "Wanted: Brilliant technology slave," was originally published at InfoWorld.com. Read more of Paul Venezia's The Deep End blog at InfoWorld.com. For the latest business technology news, follow InfoWorld.com on Twitter.