Steve Jobs blah blah Apple blah blah blah Mac OS X Lion blah blah Apple Worldwide Developers Conference blah blah Jobs blah blah iOS 5 blah blah iCloud. One more thing: Blah.
It's like the old Gary Larson Far Side cartoon about what we say to dogs and what dogs actually hear -- mostly their names and any mentions of food, with a lot of meaningless noise in between. Just substitute blogs for dogs and "Apple" for food, and that pretty much sums up how the world reacts to Apple's annual San Francisco geekfest, the WWDC.
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As I write this, Steve Jobs & Cohorts have just concluded the keynote speech, which means the rumormongering period is now officially over and the post-keynote forensics can begin in earnest.
For the record, Mac OS X Lion will offer 250 new features, with 10 of them highlighted at the WWDC. Ready? Here they are: Multitouch scrolling full-screen apps Mission Control Photo Booth Launch Pad Autosave AirDrop Resume and smarter email, all for the low, low upgrade price of just $29.99.
There's there's iOS 5: Notification Center Newsstand subscriptions single-sign-on Twitter Safari tabbed browsing Reminders photo editing rich text email "PC free" updates Game Center iMessage Airplay Mirroring.
Also: Everything you ever want or need or think you'll ever want or need? You'll find it in the iCloud.
See? I just "live blogged" the entire keynote in 71 words. Top that, EnGizGadgetCrunch.
Am I being a little crankier or more cynical than usual? Perhaps. It's just that I am now officially maxed out on Apple hype. I canna take na more cap'n -- I'm gonna blow. And I can't imagine I'm alone.
I think the irrational love affair some people have with Apple -- which is far worse on the blogosphere than in the flesh-and-blood world where most people live -- has finally gone too far. It peaked shortly after the magical, life-changing unveiling of the iPad and has been swirling slowly downward ever since.
Case in point: Today, Atlantic Online reports that the Turtlenecked One's first authorized biography, "iSteve: The Book of Jobs," is now No. 1 on Amazon's bestseller list in three categories and around 12th overall. The trouble? Author Walter Isaacson hasn't even finished writing it yet. It's not coming out for another nine months.
This I don't quite get. What is the point of pre-ordering this thing? Like somehow you're going to miss all the publicity when it finally does come out? Or you're afraid Simon & Schuster will run out of copies? Aren't the people who would pre-order a book about Steve Jobs nine months ahead of delivery also the same ones who'd line up outside a bookstore to buy it?
I think this is about telling people you pre-ordered the Jobs book, just like showing off the iPhone or iPad you bought the first day they were out. (Or, if you're really snooty, you paid someone to wait on line to buy it for you.)
Call it iSnobbery. It's the notion that the mere act of buying an Apple product makes you a smarter, better-smelling, taller person, superior to the rest of us poor slobs. It's a masterful sales pitch spun by guy who makes PT Barnum look like a rube. There's only one problem: It's not true.
The blogosphere still seems enraptured by this, but I'm not. I can't even pretend to get excited by this stuff any more. How about you?
This article, "The only WWDC liveblog you need to read," was originally published at InfoWorld.com. Track the crazy twists and turns of the tech industry with Robert X. Cringely's Notes from the Field blog, and subscribe to Cringely's Notes from the Underground newsletter. For the latest business technology news, follow InfoWorld.com on Twitter.