Stop me if you've heard this one: Some time today, Facebook will likely confirm what may be the single worst-kept secret in the history of the InterWebs: the news of its initial public offering.
Several sources are reporting that the world's largest social network will file an S-1 form with the SEC some time today, signaling that it will offer shares for sale to the public, probably later this spring.
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Some out there in blogland are wondering whether Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg will also file a personal letter to potential investors, explaining his vision for the company going forward, as Google and Groupon's founders did with their IPOs.
I have the answer: Yes, he will. In fact, I even got a sneak peek at early draft of the letter. Don't ask me how, I cannot reveal my sources. Here's what it says.
Dear Potential Stockholders and Future Facebook friends:
As you know, Facebook is the most wonderful company in the world. I should know because I invented it, regardless of what a certain pair of overprivileged muscle-bound twins might claim. If those guys were the inventors of Facebook, they would have invented Facebook. I think I heard that in a movie once.
On this day, Facebook has just over 3,000 employees. Some 800 million people post more than 300 million status updates, photos, and videos every damned day. Your grandmother is probably one of them. And soon we will be allowing the world -- and by "world" I mostly mean a handful of investors who are almost as rich as I am -- to share in that success.
But first, here are a few things you need to know about us.
* I'm CEO, biatch
I may look like the guy you pay to mow your lawn, but I'm the head of what will soon be the most powerful technology company in the world, and I have no intention of changing my style or my clothing (more than once a week, anyway). If I ever decide to get married -- which I probably won't -- I might decide to wear a tie. Otherwise, forget it. It's how we roll here in Facebookland. Get used to it.