Cloud computing will save us from the zombie apocalypse

Two events draw nigh: the move to cloud computing and the rise of the dead. Here's how one will save us from the other

It's just a matter of time before we migrate our existing IT assets to public cloud systems. Additionally, it's a short window until the dead rise from the grave and attempt to eat our brains. In other words, "The Walking Dead" could be a documentary.

The first thing we must ask ourselves as lumbering corpses make their way to our office building: How can the migration to the cloud save us from forever roaming the earth as zombies? Here are some guidelines that should keep you safe in case of the zombie apocalypse.

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Avoid the zombies by living with your data. Make your way to your cloud computing provider's nearest data center, and live among the servers. Those data centers are built like fortresses, with armed guards who can pull off zombie-killing headshots. Also, zombies are typically not authorized to enter the building; they tend to have trouble with card readers.

As cities fall to the zombie hordes, your applications and data will automatically fail over to other cloud centers not yet infested by zombies. Let's say the zombies take over Dallas. The cloud center there will automatically default to another cloud center that's up and running n another region. Thus, as zombies take over cloud centers, the built-in resiliency will ensure that your critical business applications and data stores remain available online.

Cloud computing-supported mobile devices are perfect for accessing applications and data while running from zombies -- and they make convenient weapons. Mobile devices would not work without back-end support through major public cloud providers, leveraging the ubiquitous nature of cloud computing. Also, these devices -- when used like ninja throwing stars -- can decapitate zombies from up to 20 feet away. The new iPad Mini's thin profile, weight, and balance make it perfectly designed to remove the head of a zombie from a good distance when tossed correctly. Once you clean off the zombie gore, you can use it to access your files on iCloud or Dropbox. Perhaps that is what Apple had in mind all along.

If cloud computing is being sold as a way to save us from years of bad IT practices, then saving us from zombies should be easy. Happy Halloween!

This article, "Cloud computing will save us from the zombie apocalypse," originally appeared at InfoWorld.com. Read more of David Linthicum's Cloud Computing blog and track the latest developments in cloud computing at InfoWorld.com. For the latest business technology news, follow InfoWorld.com on Twitter.

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