How do you solve a problem like Windows 8?

Fortunately for Microsoft, Cringely's readers come through with tons of titles for the interface formerly known as Metro

Everything old is new again with Microsoft.

For example, last week Redmond unveiled a new logo with a Rubik's Cube color scheme and a kinder, gentler font. Windows Phone may have a new lease on life, now that Samsung and by extension Android has been kicked in the cojones by a Silicon Valley jury. Of course, Windows 8 has finally been released to manufacturing for shipping this fall, even though its much ballyhooed and/or derided tile interface is no longer being called Windows Metro.

[ Also on InfoWorld: Cringely shows Microsoft how to do marketing -- hopefully someone is listening. | For a humorous take on tech industry shenanigans, subscribe to Robert X. Cringely's Notes from the Underground newsletter. | Get the latest insight on the tech news that matters from InfoWorld's Tech Watch blog. ]

Off the Record submissions

A couple weeks back I asked the residents of Cringeville to lend Microsoft a hand in renaming the Interface Design Scheme Formerly Known as Metro (or IDSFKAM for short). They jumped in with both feet. It is time now to reveal my favorites:

Windows by any other name

In honor of 1999's Windows Millennium Edition and the Mayan 2012 predictions, Tim M. suggests "Windows Apocalypse Edition." I really like that. But is that with zombies or without? It's unclear.

Impressed by the current incarnation of Windows Phone 7, a prickly reader known only as CactusNJ nominates "Microsoft Vision." Sorry, I just can't see it.

Somehow I forgot to make a BSOD joke in my first post about this, so reader Kevin H. did it for me: "Blue Tiles of Death." Is he suggesting that Windows 8 will soon be swirling down the toilet alongside the Tidy Bowl Man? If so, he's not alone.

Todd H. suggests just turning the 8 in Windows 8 on its side, creating Windows Infinity. That's a future too horrible to contemplate. I think I'd rather have the zombie apocalypse.

A reader known only as Kevins_76 offers up "Windows Tablet Framework, or WTF for short." No explanation necessary.

In a paean to other now-moribund Microsoft products, Cringester Bob B. suggests "Next of Kin." Ouch. That's an awful pun even by my debased standards -- in other words, nicely done.

A reader known only as Software Guy suggests "Broken Arrow," the military distress call of last resort and a rather silly '90s-era action flick starring John Travolta and Christian Slater. Like John and Chris, Windows' career isn't really going anywhere these days either.

In honor of Windows 8's miles of tiles, Christian B. goes artsy with "Mondrian," while Ron K. suggests the less colorful yet still compelling "Blackstreet." I like that, but only because it sounds like a 1970s blaxploitation film hero.

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