It's a shame the entire Internet is blacked out at the moment, because the post I was planning to write today was really going to be something. Devastatingly witty, brilliantly insightful, and guaranteed to contain something to offend every reader, it was going to be my best post ever.
But why waste it if nobody can see it? Since Anonymous called for a blackout today to protest CISPA, we've all been forced to go cold turkey from our Internet addictions. Heck, I don't even know why I'm typing this. It's like I'm talking to myself. (For most of us this is known by a slightly different name: blogging.) By tomorrow, the inspiration will surely have evaporated.
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Wait, you mean you can read this? I am really am posting? This microphone is live? I am shocked -- shocked, I say -- to discover that the grand call by Anonymous for an Internet-wide blackout has failed to excite the masses. After all, didn't the group post a video on AnonyOps site last week telling everyone to black out their websites today? Weren't you people paying attention?
Hmm, maybe the world isn't watching after all. Or maybe trying to get the SOPA lightning to strike twice takes more than a few ticked-off Anons.
Online is the new offline?
Today the AnonyOps site sports a red and black banner stating, "This Website is offline in protest of CISPA." But it doesn't exactly look offline. There's the video, of course, and links to other sites where you can call your U.S. senator, sign online petitions, download banner code, and view the other sites that have taken similar actions.
At press time, there were just shy of 400, not a single one of which I had ever heard of before. (See blogging = talking to yourself, above.) Better watch out Congress -- you've just ticked off Rubbing Alcoholic, It's a Tomato, and Drink Cocaine. The revolution is at hand.