The words "Microsoft" and "marketing" go together like oil and water, matter and antimatter, humility and Donald Trump.
For decades, the lumbering software giant has attempted to sway the general public via TV commercials. It's a long and ugly history of failure. There are so many examples of terrible Microsoft ads, it's hard to pick out the worst ones, but I'll try.
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Take, for example, those cringe-inducing spots designed to promote Vista starring Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld. Watching Gates wiggle his butt on screen has permanently altered my psyche in a way no amount of psychotropic drugs can ever fix. The more I watched them, the worse they got. I can also never look at churros the same way ever again.
Then there were those what-were-they-smoking ads that featured a Windows Phone 7 user strolling serenely through an hallucinogenic landscape of iPeople mesmerized by their iDevices, set to the tune of Donovan's "Season of the Witch." That one came with the tagline "It's time for a phone to save us from our phones." I've tried that sentence dozens of ways, substituting different nouns for "phone" each time, and I still can't get it to make sense.
Microsoft swats at Samsung and Apple
I'd pretty much given up on Microsoft ever mastering the art of the TV commercial, a form of media that has after all only been in existence for about 70 years. Then, today, Redmond released its latest assault on Apple and Samsung phones, and I'm shocked to report that the Microsofties may have finally gotten it right.
Check out the following ad for the Nokia Lumia 920, one of the latest Windows 8 handsets:
For those of you who wish to skip the one-minute video, let me summarize: Big wedding. Groom's family all iPhone users; bride's strictly Samsung. A melee ensues.
It's a hoot. The best and funniest part? The tiny type that shows up on the bottom of screen as some poor wedding guest is blown through the air and lands on the wedding cake: "Do not attempt."