Casting call: 'Real Housewives of Silicon Valley'

Bravo opts to go where the new money is, despite fears that potential cast members will resist the 'housewife' label

[This is an April Fools' story. It is fiction, not fact, though it may contains fact. --Ed.]

The flood of money being pumped into Silicon Valley surpasses even the heady days of the dot-com boom, with multi-billion-dollar acquisitions and IPOs occurring almost weekly. Sensing fresh opportunity, producers of the phenomenally successful "Real Housewives" franchise will arrive in Atherton this week to hold auditions for a Silicon Valley edition.

"We realize the Silicon Valley series will stand apart from the rest," said Richard Beane, vice president of development at the Bravo cable television network. "Not all of the housewives will be housewives. But as we learned from 'Startups: Silicon Valley,' the backbiting is fierce."

A more difficult problem, noted the E Network's Stephanie Quintaro, is that Silicon Valley is not known for its glamor or style. "In Beverly Hills, New York, even Atlanta and DC, they know how to dress," said Quintaro. "In Silicon Valley, it's anti-style, like no one wants anyone to know how much money they have. What fun is there in that?"

The clothes may be casual, but the aspirations are relentless. Dick Greenleaf of the gossip site Silicon Rag declined to name names, but said, "If I hear another self-infatuated moron, male or female, say they're changing the world, I'm going to throw up." Greenleaf, who has made himself a pariah to the Silicon Valley elite, predicted that "Real Housewives of Silicon Valley" would fail as hard as Bravo's "Startups: Silicon Valley" did. "Face it, neither the execs nor their wives are interesting people. They live incredibly stupid lives."

One the other hand, Silicon Valley features some of the most expensive real estate in the world, and there's no shortage of luxury, from blood-free diamonds to Teslas. The problem is that, until now, it's been largely hidden away. Beane and others believe that the latest boom has reached a tipping point, where Silicon Valley's better halves will be unable to resist egregious displays of wealth and infighting.

Beane professes optimism. "I know I'm not going to get Larry Ellison's or Larry Page's trophy wives," he said. "But the new money is going to entrepreneurs with dubious ideas and stratospheric pretentions, which their wives share. We have a show for that."

Please note: This is an April Fools' joke.

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