Apparently Dell is too big for even Michael D. to run by himself. So the company has created the Digg-like Dell Idea Storm, where would-be CEOs can offer their 2 cents on how to run the show. At press time, more than 800 ideas had been submitted, with the most popular being: 1) preload less crapware, 2) offer more open source software, and 3) no more support calls with “Billie Jo from Bangalore,” please. The worst suggestion? Having Michael Dell deliver his PCs in person, kind of like a Domino’s pizza. And if the PC crashes or blows up within the first 30 minutes, it’s free.

The devil carries an iPhone: Has Apple cloned LG’s phone? Execs at the Korean electronics powerhouse claim the Cupertino crew swiped the design of LG's Prada for its ooh-inspiring iPhone. With regard to the Prada, Apple says nada, at least so far.

Holey Helio: Cringeman John M. got a scary letter from EarthLink Wireless (aka Helio) saying his account information may have been “accessed through illegal means.” He was urged to cut up his credit card, put a fraud watch on his accounts, and beware of calls from scammers pretending to be from EarthLink. Company spokesfolk say only a handful of Helio’s 70,000 subscribers were affected, no identity thefts have been reported, and it was not an external hack. And no, “Helio” is not the Greek word for “disgruntled employee.”

Grok lobster: SCO has subpoenaed the elusive and mysterious Pamela Jones, primary author of the Groklaw.net blog -- or at least they will, once they find her. Apparently SCO believes the author of thousands of highly erudite posts about its legal battles is fictional (not unlike a certain company’s belief that it owns the rights to Linux), and Groklaw is really written by IBM’s attorneys. Friends of Jones beg to differ. There’s no truth to the rumor, however, that Jones is actually Linus Torvalds in drag.

Send hot tips or spurious subpoenas to cringe@infoworld.com and you may receive an elusive bag in return.