SAP hunts execs for sport, Gates falls a little short

Many thanks to readers who submitted their favorite quail recipes. My local market was out of quail, so they suggested I use Dove instead. I must say, it tasted a little soapy. Perhaps I'm not ready to foist my cooking on the social-networking diva just yet.

Free IT resource Hear how top CIOs turn change into a competitive advantage. Sponsored by HP Free IT resource Attend the SOA Executive Forum: Breaking SOA Bottlenecks SOAExecForum.com/may2007 Sponsored by InfoWorld

Excellent benefits and all the schnitzel you can eat: If the executive photos in SAP's next annual report look strangely familiar, there's good reason. The German software giant has been quietly raiding the corporate towers at BEA, Oracle, Quest, Siebel, and the company formerly known as PeopleSoft. Rumor has it when Larry Ellison found out, he threatened to buy SAP just so he could fire all of them -- again.

Teenyboppers, terrorists, and techno-titans: Panda Software has released its list of the top 10 celebrity viruses. Sir William Gates landed at No. 2, right behind Britney Spears and three clicks ahead of Osama Bin Laden. Panda compiled the list by measuring the volume of malware associated with each celeb's name. Had Panda classified Windows as malware, Gates would have won by a landslide.

Youth in Asia: When Cringester Jeffrey O. spied InfoWorld's "Microsoft Catches Them Young in India" story, he had to ask: Has Michael Jackson taken a job in Redmond? Tsk tsk, Jeffrey. Microsoft's just trying to teach kids in Karnataka the joys of pressing <ctrl>-<alt>-<del>.

To survey with love: Either it's pure coincidence or somebody at Microsoft actually reads this column because the company's online survey for professional software developers now accepts input from professional software developers -- as well as media mongrels like yours truly. But it still boots anyone who works for Adobe, Corel, IBM, Oracle, Sun, or, interestingly, Microsoft. Apparently they don't want to know what their own employees think. Can't say I blame them.

Got hot tips or slabs of schnitzel? Send them to cringe@infoworld.com and you may receive a handsome parting gift.