Feds discover the force, MS disses Netscape (of course)

I was walking Apache down Lonely Street when I stopped at my local for a quick one. I got to chatting with a lass who works for a social-networking startup. When I said I shoveled gossip for a living, she sparked right up. Apparently, these companies are a gold mine for inside innuendo. As I got up to leave, she invited me to join her network. I felt like I was 17 all over again.

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Darth Trader:  FBI agents brandishing light sabers swooped down on elitetorrents.org last week, disabling the file-swapping hub. In a press release, the Feds said 10,000 rabid Star Wars fans downloaded bootleg copies of Episode III: Revenge of the Sith from the site (and then paid $8 to see it -- over and over and over). Meanwhile, the Department of Homeland Security has failed to meet a single one of its 13 cybersecurity goals, according to a report by the Government Accountability Office. They’re probably too busy keeping us safe from file swappers.

Speaking of Deathstars ...  IBM has reached a proposed settlement in a class-action suit over its Deskstar ("Deathstar") hard drives. The settlement would give buyers of the dead 75GXP drives $100 apiece, provided they can produce the serial numbers … time to break out the shovel and dig that thing up. However, notes IBM reseller Tony W., the settlement applies only to consumers; all resellers get is the shaft.

Escape From Netscape:  A Microsoft blogger has discovered installing Netscape 8 could cause IE to gag on XML pages. Given how often Microsoft’s been accused of disabling competitors' products, it only seems fair. AOL says it will release a patch to fix the problem. The Redmondites’ helpful advice? Just uninstall Netscape 8 and nobody gets hurt. They added that using Firefox gives you cooties.

Punjabi Fight Club:  I just got spammed by a Punjabi dating portal that promises "world class dating, marriage, travel companions" and forums "literally filled with those who want to feel violence." And I thought the dating scene over here was rough.

Got hot gossip or ways to quell violent travel companions? Send them to cringe@infoworld.com and you may get a curiously yellow bag in return.