It’s been a big week for OSes. Microsoft rolled out 64-bit Windows (ooh-wee baby), Ballmer hyped Longhorn at WinHEC (“70 percent fewer reboots than Windows XP”), and Apple unleashed Tiger,
its latest upgrade to OS X. Makes me nostalgic for the good old days of GEM and DR DOS, when I was just a pup.
Silicone valley: Maybe it’s because of my item about Google getting into the undergarment biz, but for some reason I got a press release touting a bra designed to make real bosoms look like fakes. Apparently the new
“Evolution by Margarita” can make a woman’s front end look like the bumper of a '55 Caddy. Frankly, after a few margaritas it doesn’t matter what they look like.
Similar, but with more padding: Ironically, Microsoft has just begun beating its own breasts in an effort to lift and support sagging Windows XP sales. According
to the press release, “The Start Something campaign celebrates how people can ... pursue what they are passionate about” (unless
you’re passionate about open-source code, secure OSes, or gay rights, that is). As part of the campaign, Microsoft has built a special Flash-based site where lobsters, fireworks, and bullet trains come bursting out of people’s chests like the creature in “Alien.” I’m betting
that wouldn’t happen if they were wearing an Evolution by Margarita.
E.-coli-commerce: Cringester Jeffrey N. was shopping at CircuitCity.com when he clicked a link promising “0% financing”; instead of a credit-card
pitch, Firefox displayed the genetic sequence of E. coli. It seems the gene and the store’s server software share an acronym, which flummoxed Firefox when it tried to
open the page in a new window. Sleazy credit come-on or deadly bacterium? I always get those mixed up.
Don’t Bogart that spam: A survey commissioned by Hewlett-Packard concludes that e-mail is worse for your brain than dope. The U.K.-based study found that
e-mail interruptions cause worker IQs to drop by 10 points, or more than twice the loss from visiting Mr. Doobie. Get the
feeling HPers have been partying a bit since Carly left?
Got hot tips or fond OS memories? Send them to
cringe@infoworld.com and rumor has it you may receive a bag.
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