Quark sports Scottish logo, Novell disks a no-go

Nothing reveals raging corporate paranoia like the testimony of disgruntled former employees. And in Microsoft's lawsuit against Google, it's clear the Redmond reprobates have their knickers in a Gordian knot. More than 100 Microsofties have jumped ship for the search firm with the silly name. (It seems they wanted to work for a company that isn't universally reviled … yet.) Despite testimony to the contrary, Ballmer denies flying into a bug-eyed rage and tossing furniture around like the gorilla in those old American Tourister  commercials. I'm sure he's become quite a genteel fellow in his dotage. Remember when Microsoft said it was going to crush Netscape? They were really just talking about giving it a big hug.

Leapin' logos: Quark recently unveiled a nifty new logo -- a highly stylized, avocado green "Q" that signals a leap "forward into the future of creative communications." As Cringester John M. notes, the future apparently resides in Scotland, where the Scottish Arts Council Web site sports a dead ringer for Quark's logo, only in Smurf blue. Quark McSpokesman Glen Turpin says the resemblance "is purely coincidental." No word on whether the company plans to change its name to McQuark.

Tales of ancient software: Cringe fan Jeff B. found himself needing to restore a copy of NetWare 3.12, which was popular back when Ballmer had hair. He paid $75 for "replacement media" that turned out to be a single, utterly useless installation file. Two Novell employees rummaged filing cabinets and even looked on eBay before throwing up their hands in defeat. Jeff eventually tracked down a former co-worker who had the disks. Novell says it can usually provide replacement media, but after 15-plus years, the discs turn into pumpkins. At least Jeff got his 75 clams back.

Stop the presses: The International Oracle Users Group (IOUG) has changed its name to the Independent Oracle Users Group (IOUG), thus saving the organization's 15,000 members the expense of replacing their monogrammed jackets. I guess the IOUG member who lived in Canada moved back to the States.

Got hot tips or old software? Send them to cringe@infoworld.com and you may get an old bag (no, not an ex-girlfriend) in return.